life after voldermort
by Miz.HP
Summary: basically my version of what heppened between the last chapter and the epilogue...not sure if i will finish let me know what you think
1. Chapter 1

So this is just my version of what happened in between the last chapter and the epilogue

And be nice this is my first story

I slowly walked out of Dumbledore's…McGonagall's office I didn't think it would be so easy to stand after so long without sleep. I kept walking not knowing my destination but feeling the need to do something I kept walking. Subconsciously I knew Ron and Hermione were following me but they were so quite I wouldn't have known otherwise. A few minutes later and I found I was standing outside the fat lady not sure how I got there and not knowing what the password was I just stood there, however when the fat lady saw who it was she swung open without hesitation, at any other time I would have been irrationally irritated by the special treatment I was receiving but at this point in time I was so tired that within seconds of walking through the common room I forgot about it..

The common room for the time being was empty as I assume everyone was in the great hall still, I silently turned around and looked Ron in the eye, something passed between us, as brothers and he understood that I just wanted to be alone so I walked away and left Ron and Hermione just standing there. Climbing the stairs to the boy's dormitory I realized that none of the beds belonged to me anymore. This was no longer my home, it hurt to think that I no longer belonged here at Hogwarts as it was the first place I found friends…and a family. Nonetheless I walked to the top and merely claimed a bed, I took my shoes off climbed under the covers and before I knew it the darkness had engulfed me.

Minutes later however I was awoken by shouting being slightly disorientated I went to the bedside table to get my glasses. I then noticed that the door to the dormitory was slightly ajar and as I went to get up I realized who the voices belonged to, Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. At the thought of Ginny my mind went back to last night, right before Voldermort used the killing curse against me; I stopped and sat back down on the bed feeling slightly over whelmed. Getting back to life was going to be difficult there were so many memories I wanted to forget so many people I wanted back. My parents, Sirius and then of course Remus and Tonks who left behind a son, my godson, but then of course Fred, my brother and not to mention Colin and all the other people who gave their lives for the cause so that we could have a better life, a free life, a life without Voldermort. Was it so wrong for them to have given their lives when it all could have been avoided if I had not just given myself over earlier, if I had not figured it all out sooner, so many lives could have been spared along with all that extra heartache.

For a few minutes I sat there merely contemplating everything that had happened and with that everything that needed to be done. I first needed to replace Dumbledore's wand and return it to its rightful place, I would also do whatever needed to be don't to help restore that castle. At the thought of how long that would take I got up to take a shower and get ready for the day. After I got out of the shower however I realized I had no clean clothes so I merely used a charm to clean the clothes I was wearing and put them back on I headed out the room. Entering the common room I immediately came face to face with all of the Weasley's, all except one, Fred. For a moment I stood there merely looking at the family, the family I felt I belonged to, but at this moment it wasn't that feeling that came to mind it was the feeling that I was to blame for their fallen son, and that it was my fault that they were one member short. wanting to console me I expect, even in her state with blotchy cheeks and bags under her eyes as she clearly hadn't slept was trying to console me, so all I could do when she reached out a hand to me was walk away and out the portrait hole. There was nothing I could do, it was my fault.

I walked aimlessly around the castle for 10 minutes later trying to clear my head, when I realized that sun was rising, I then realized that a whole day had passed and that I had slept for that entire time. I was shocked by this as I was sure it had only been a few minutes. So confused by everything I thought it best to maybe go see professor McGonagall, to try and tell her as much as I can about the past year as she deserved to know the truth about everything and as I'm sure Dumbledore would agree. However I realized I would need Ron and Hermione's help for that and so against my better judgment went back to the common room to ask them to come with me.

When I walked into the common room I was happy that they were sitting huddled together away from the main group of Weasley and so could easily ask them to leave with me. However at the sounds of my voice Ginny lifted her head off of her arm where I assumed she had fallen asleep at one of the tables. I caught her eye and she must have seen something, something I probably under normal circumstances wouldn't have wanted her to see. However at this she came and grabbed my hand, I just looked at her, stunned y the affection she was showing, after all, all the time we were apart I'd assumed she would have moved on. Or of course it could all just be pity, either way I wasn't going to waste the opportunity and so held on as though it were a life line.

Walking out of the common room and through the various corridors Ron and Hermione kept throwing knowing looks to each other, I thought it might be curiosity about what it was I asked them to do with me not the fact that I wouldn't let Ginny's hand go. Surely they must have known how I felt, after all this time Hermione at least should have known. When we arrived at the gargoyle, I know I didn't have a password but like before I didn't think it would matter, and like I though it without the password stepped aside to let us up into the headmaster's office. After a brief knock and the words come in, McGonagall didn't even looked surprised to see me, a hint of a smile played on her face but all she said was

"How can I help you today potter?"

And so I began telling the story, the story of what happened at the wedding, tottenham court road, grimauld place and the ministry right up until after we escaped gringotts on the dragon. At appropriate time McGonagall "oohed" and "ahhed" but mainly kept quite, Ginny on the other hand who I thought would want to know what happened was much more emotional. Ginny who I had never seen cry before by the end of the story was crying, all emotions leaking unable to stop. I unsure of what to do merely continued the story, the battle of Hogwarts sitting down in the seat next to Ginny and took her hand as some sort of consolidation, she seemed to appreciate it as she met my eyes and smiled, a smile in such contrast to the rest of the emotion on her face which showed sadness and sympathy.

As I explained the last of the story about the elder wand, trusting that McGonagall was indeed trusted enough for the information about the deathly hallows, I sat down satisfied by everything that was said, at the appropriate times Ron would add something or Hermione, Hermione of course telling most of the story of what happened at godrics hollow. And Ron trying to explain the deluminator, I sat down content, not happy in these times I could never be happy but merely content with everything that had happened at that had been said. McGonagall looked satisfied though lying deep under the surface was a hint or worry at everything these children had gone through, as no one that age should have experienced half the things that they had. She merely asked that she be permitted to see some of snape's memories in order to see for herself, trying my hardest to put the record straight I immediately agreed in the hopes it would help to clear his name.

I then got up to leave when McGonagall called me back

"Thank you potter, for everything you have done"

And with that I saw an expression of pride take over her face

At this I got up and left the office holding Ginny's hand again, wondering what was next and where my next steps would lead me.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking through the corridors I was absolutely certain of three things.

1. That my head was telling me I needed to owl Kinsley Shakelbolt to see how the turn around at the ministry was going or if it was indeed 'going' .2. That my heart was telling me that I needed to talk to the Weasley's, whether it be just or if I could talk to George too, and three .3. my stomach was telling my that I was starving, so without further delay I made my way to the great hall to get some lunch.

Walking to the great all thinking all of this I started to tense up. Who would be in the great hall?? Would they blame me like I do?? Will they all just blame for the death of their loved me ones as I surely blame myself for Remus and tonks and Fred?? In truth it wasn't fair that someone so young had such pressure put on them, as a 17 year old to have the pressure of the entire wizarding world on your shoulders wasn't easy, and now even after everything I wondered what was going to happen to me. What would become of me and where would I end up??

We walked slowly yet surely in the direction of the great hall. And when we arrived my mouth dropped to a perfect 'o'. As we walked in and the large doors opened everyone stared up at us, due to the fact that no one had seen us, or me at least since the final battle perhaps I should have expected it but it was still rather shocking. After a few second of standing there looking awkward and looking but at Ron and Hermione people began clapping, it started with just McGonagall and then the teachers, the order, the Weasley's, the DA and soon everyone was clapping. it was a though I was confounded standing there looking dumbstruck, I just couldn't comprehend all of these people clapping for me. Its my fault that most of the families are a member short, yet here I am standing here while the continuously clap. I stood there, whether because I couldn't make myself move or because I actually couldn't move I didn't know, but the next second I found I was being dragged to the Gryffindor table on the far side by Ginny's hand which was still holding mine.

As we arrived at the table Mrs. Weasley looked up. Her eyes we still red and puffy but now when I looked in them all I saw was understanding. Knowing what I was going through and what I still needed to do looked at me not as a murderer but as a son. At that moment I knew I was in the right place, at that moment I was at home, sitting with my family and everything felt, right. They were perfect in my eyes and could do nothing wrong so I sat down next to who without hesitation began piling my plate high with as much food as it would contain. Opposite me however sat George. I don't think I ever saw someone look so grim, the air of amusement that usually hung over George was gone, his eyes were bright red and his face was in a permanent look of shock and sadness. I didn't know what to do; it was one thing for me to merely feel as though I was responsible it was another to actually see the toll that it was taking on him. Ginny possibly sensing something was wrong turned to look at me not sure though what she was seeing on my face as I wasn't even sure what was showing on my face, I merely looked back to her, not sure of what to say but knowing that the silence was only feeding whatever it was that Ginny was thinking.

However before she had time to say anything McGonagall got up in front of everyone and made an announcement that tomorrow evening right before the sunset there was going to be a memorial service for all the fallen and with that wished everyone a good day and went to leave the great hall. It was then that I noticed sitting at the head table looking somber was none other than Kinsley Shakelbolt the one man I wanted to speak to. So with questioning looks thrown at my back I got up and walked towards the head table.

As I approached the table Kinsley looked up and met my gaze, there was something in his eyes something I could distinguish….pride??

"hello harry, how are you today?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but I realized that I didn't know how I felt. I was unsure about everything. I mean I was sad and I knew that but I was also tired still hungry, happy, free, how do u express all of these things; I mean is it really possible. So I merely shrugged while a small smile played at the corner of my lips. This answer seemed to satisfy Kinsley though because he merely nodded.

"Kinsley I was hoping to talk to you about the ministry." I thought I best not push my luck as a lot would be expected to be kept under wraps but I thought I would ask anyway, I did really want to know what was going on.

"harry, I respect that you want to know and considering what you have done seems quite fitting, however not here, perhaps later I will contact you to discuss not only what is happening at the ministry but also if you could enlighten me as to what happened this past years so I could sort out some issues…particularly with the goblins"

I had expected this after all, the goblins were difficult to deal with and now wizards had successfully broken in and stolen something, but not juts wizards but teenagers barely of age. I agreed to this with a quick nod of the head, and walked back to my seat.

When I got back I continued eating and when I looked up I saw everyone staring at me. I smiled a soft but reassuring smile in all directions. This seemed to be enough for everyone, for now. Ron and Hermione were not satisfied however and I knew this and gave them a look, quite clearly saying we will talk later. Ginny on the other hand was much more persistent and kept glaring at me to get an answer. I eventually looked back at her with pleading eyes; I would talk to her about it. I was no longer going to pretend she didn't mean the world to me, I could lie to myself all I wanted but after last night, Ginny being my last thought, or I guess it was a couple nights ago now, my last thought before I was supposed to die. People say the last thing you see is your life flashing before your eyes, and they weren't lying, my life did flash before my eyes, Ginny.

After I had finished eating I said rather quietly but loud enough so that Ron and Hermione would know,

"Ginny?"

When she looked up I saw something in her eyes, so I kept on

"Could you maybe come with me so we can talk?"

The question made it quite clear what I wanted to talk about so hopefully she picked up on it, by the look on her face she did which gave me some hope that perhaps she still feels the same way. However by the look on Ron's face it was clear he to understood and he did not look happy, far from it.

Though despite this or maybe it was just Hermione holding him back, me and Ginny proceeded to walk out of the great hall, she once more grabbing hold of my hand. A few minutes later we were standing by the lake, a beautiful glowing coming from within looking more beautiful then ever before, however for the first time I didn't even notice the lake in all its glory, I was too focused on the dazzling site of the gorgeous person standing next to me.

I merely looked at her not knowing what to say. When suddenly:

"I thought you were dead"

It wasn't a question it was a statement in the hopes that I understood what she was feeling. Chocking out between crying, she continued softly,

"I thought you were dead…and all I could think of was how I would never feel you hold me again, and how I would never feel your lips brush mine"

My heart was caught in my throat, I didn't know what to do, what to say, and so I merely stood there listening to what it was she was trying to say.

"For a year harry, I thought about our last kiss, on my birthday and kept me strong, it reminded why we were fighting, why I was fighting, so I could have a better life….with you"

Without hesitation I softly placed my right hand on the nape of her neck and caressed her cheek with my thumb, she loved me and that was all that mattered. I leaned forward and when our lips finally touched I felt for the first time that I had won this war and that it was truly over. I was happy, yes there were so many more things I had to talk to her about and so many more things I had to face. But I had Ginny and to me that's what mattered


End file.
